


Why didn't you tell me?

by chilly83



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chilly83/pseuds/chilly83
Summary: A surprise visit from her parents leaves Hailey reeling.   This is going to be a multi chapter fic.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 34
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a longer story. I don’t anticipate this being more than 3 or 4 chapters. But since this is my first time trying this, who knows! 
> 
> Takes place between 7x14 and 7x16. 

Today was shaping up to be a rough day for the Intelligence Unit. It was Adam’s first day back after he and Kim tragically lost their baby. No one really knew what to say or do when they saw him come up the stairs. Adam simply nodded at everyone as he walked into the bullpen, which was intelligence speak for “I’m fine”. They all made sure to make eye contact as they returned the nods, Hailey going as far as offering a shoulder squeeze. She was shocked when he pulled her aside a few weeks ago to tell her in person that Kim was pregnant. Not shocked that they were together-or whatever they were calling their situation-but that they had been able to hide it for so long. She wasn’t sure if she was too wrapped up in her own life to notice or if they were just that good at separating personal and professional. She had congratulated him; she knew how much he loved his nephews and that he hoped to one day have kids of his own. She was genuinely happy for him and Kim and made sure that they knew it. That night in the hospital when they heard the news, her heart broke for them. She was surprised to see Adam walk up the stairs, but she knew him well enough to know that work was where he needed to be to keep his mind off what happened.

Luckily for everyone, they had caught a case. Rojas and Atwater had followed up on a lead trying to help a friend of hers find someone. This resulted in a crime scene when patrol located the person they were looking for and a much-needed distraction for the team. As the hours ticked by, they found themselves losing track of time. It wasn’t until she heard Platt walking up the stairs and calling her that she realized it was past lunch. She jumped up when she realized she had missed an important lunch date and turned just in time to see Platt arrive at the top of the stairs. 

“You have visitors.”

Hailey’s eyes widen as she sees her parents reach the top of the stairs. She was expecting to meet her mom for lunch that afternoon. She had been putting it off for months now and finally decided that she could buy herself some more time if she agreed to a quick lunch date during her workday. She knew the odds of getting more than an hour were slim and it was the perfect excuse to keep the meeting short and sweet. What she was not expecting was to see her dad. 

“Mom. Dad. Hey. What are you doing here?” Hailey asked as she walked over to give her mom a hug. She nodded at her dad as he gave her a pat on the back.

“You were supposed to meet your mother for lunch today. It’s a good thing I tagged along otherwise she would have had to eat all alone.”

“Right. I’m sorry mom. You should have called; I was wrapped up in a case and lost track of time.”

Just then Hailey realized that this conversation was happening in the middle of the bullpen and all eyes were on them.

“Sorry, guys. These are my parents.” Hailey awkwardly stated.

Jay knew Hailey didn’t like to reveal too much about her personal life and family, so he wrote off the awkwardness as Hailey being uncomfortable with her parents showing up at work. He stood up and walked over to introduce himself.

“Hello! Nice to meet you, I’m Jay” he said as he shook their hands. One by one the rest of the unit walked over and introduced themselves. All except for Adam, who simply stood at his desk and offered a nod while keeping his hands in his pockets. Hailey’s mom was very excited to meet the team and spent a couple of minutes making small talk while Hailey’s dad simply looked on. Jay couldn’t help but notice that Hailey must get her facial expressions from him. He watched her dad’s face trying to get a read on what he might be thinking but found it as hard as trying to get a read on Hailey. Finally, after about 5 minutes of conversation, which was 4 and half minutes longer than Hailey wanted, her parents thanked the squad for keeping their daughter safe and excused themselves down the stairs. Hailey followed them down the stairs offering to walk them out and make new dinner plans.

As they left the room, everyone in the bullpen chuckled at meeting the parents. They all had at some point or another wondered what the families of their teammates were like. While most of the team was familiar with Jay, Adam, Kim and Kevin’s families, not much was known about Vanessa’s or Hailey’s. Vanessa made sense; she had only been working with them for a few months. From what they understood, she didn’t even know her family as she grew up in the foster care system. Hailey, however, had been working with them for years. Nothing was known about her family except that she had brothers and her family was from Greek town, or Lake forest, depending on which story she told you. None of them ever expected to get much else out of her because she wasn’t really the type to share too much about herself. To have her parents walk into the bullpen that afternoon was a treat that they were not expecting.

Jay walked over to his desk and glanced over at Adam. He had noticed that the former flame had given a short and curt greeting to the couple. On any other day, he would have been irritated at the rude behavior, but he knew Adam was not his in usual head space. He wasn’t even sure that Adam realized what he had done. He couldn’t help but notice that Adam had his eyes glued to the top of the stairwell and the look of concern he wore on his face. He watched as Adam sat back in his chair and ran his hand over his face only to pop up when he saw Hailey at the top of the stairs. Jay noticed the distressed look on Hailey’s face as she went into the break room followed quickly by Adam. Something was definitely going on, but he wasn’t sure if he should try to find out what.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! I am definitely out of my comfort zone with multichapter fics so I appreciate all the support!

Hailey was on autopilot as she walked through the bullpen. She was grateful to see that everyone was too wrapped up in her work to even notice that she had walked back through heading straight to the breakroom. As she entered, she realized that Adam was walking in behind her. He immediately shut the door and shared a concerned look with Hailey. 

Hailey shook her head as she let out a shaky breath and walked towards the coffee machine. Adam stood there, hands in his pockets, waiting for the right moment to talk.

“I wasn’t expecting to see him. I had plans with my mom, but I did not expect for him to come too.” 

As she began to talk, Adam had slowly begun to walk closer so he could hear her. She was speaking at barely above a whisper and Adam had learned when they were together that it was best to just let her talk in these situations. He approached and was sure to leave her enough space to not feel crowded but know she had his full attention. 

“That’s the first time I’ve seen him in 8 months. The only reason I agreed to lunch during a workday was because I didn’t think he’d come out to the city. I figured if I met with my mom then that would buy me a couple of more months before I had to see them again.” 

Hailey was biting her lip trying hard to keep the tears in. She began to rub her forehead trying to will back her tears but was unsuccessful. Adam approached her with open arms, and she allowed herself to be comforted in the moment. She knew that she was being selfish, Adam was going through his own trauma. He shouldn’t be worrying about her, but she had no one else to turn to. Adam was the only person that knew about her history with her dad. She would usually turn to Jay, but she wasn’t sure how to share this with him. It had never really come up naturally and she didn’t want to bring up the subject with him. He had his own issues with his father, and it was a wound that she didn’t want to reopen. So, in this moment she allowed herself to be selfish and let Adam be the friend that she needed. 

“I’m sorry to dump this on you.” Hailey said as she began to compose herself. 

“You’re not dumping anything on me. I know this isn’t easy. I am happy to be here for you, but I really think you need to tell Jay.” 

Hailey took a step back and shook her head. “I know. If he asks me, I will tell him. It has honestly never come up. The only time we’ve discussed my relationship with my dad is after his dad died. He was angry and said some things. I don’t want to rehash that. I don’t want to make him feel worse about that day than he already does. He has apologized so many times and I know that he would feel so much worse if he knew the truth about me and my dad.”

Adam understood what she meant. He was riding with her that day and heard Jay’s fight with her. He understood why she didn’t want to revisit the topic of fathers with Jay. 

Jay sat at his desk trying not to pay attention to the breakroom. He was never more grateful and irritated to have his desk facing away from the breakroom. As much as he wanted to know what was going on, he didn’t want to invade Hailey’s privacy. Something was wrong and he knew that if Hailey wanted him to know what, she would tell him. As much as he wanted to be there for her, what was more important to him was that she was letting someone in. If she had someone she could talk to, that was enough for him. He would be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt a little that Adam was that person, but he also knew that they shared a special friendship since they broke up. There were things Adam knew about her that he didn’t and whatever was wrong, clearly it was one of those things.

“Halstead, Rojas. Grab Upton and head over to the church that Sammy was at. See if you can get him to come in and answer some more questions.”

Jay nodded to his Sergeant. He walked to the breakroom and knocked, wanting to respect his teammate’s privacy. Hailey instantly turned away to face the window.

“Come in” Adam called out.

When he opened the door, the first thing Jay noticed was little water marks on Adam’s shirt. Looking over to see Hailey with her back turned to him only made him more uneasy about what was going on.

“Sorry. Hailey, Voight wants us to head out with Rojas.”

“Ya, just give us a minute brother.” Adam said as he nodded at Jay. 

Jay looked over at Hailey one more time before shutting the door and walking back to his desk. OK. New plan. Whatever this was, it was enough to make Hailey cry at work. That was enough to convince Jay that he couldn’t just stand by and wait for Hailey to come to him. 

When Adam left the breakroom, he made sure to pass by Jay’s desk. He knew Jay and Hailey cared for each other in a way neither one of them were ready to admit. He felt for him, understood what it felt like to watch someone you love in pain and not know how to help. He was going through this with Kim right now but at least he knew what was wrong. Jay had no idea what was happening, and he wasn’t sure if Hailey would tell him. As he passed Jay, he extended his arm out and gave him a shoulder squeeze. It was a small comfort but it’s all Adam could offer to let Jay know he understood. Jay nodded at Adam as he heard the breakroom door open. Hailey walked out and grabbed her jacket ready to head out. Jay knew she was in Detective Upton mode and that talking at work was not going to happen. He just hoped that the workday would end quickly so that would have a chance to talk to Hailey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always shout out to the Upstead chat group on Tumblr for the support. All characters still belong to Dick Wolf!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short chapter, but I wanted to get something up today. I have been stuck on Chapter 4 for a couple of days. I finally was able to figure out what I wanted to do with the chapter and I am hoping that I will be able to get it up tomorrow!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter lightly discusses domestic violence although does not go into graphic details.

Hailey had agreed to meet her parents for dinner the following night. When her mom asked, she couldn’t think of a single excuse to get her out of it. It was always hard turning her mom down in person and she was pretty sure her mom knew that. So, Hailey resigned herself to dinner and just hoped that it would be quick and painless. Being around her parents wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience. She usually enjoyed their company. It was after they parted ways that she struggled. When she was driving home and replaying the conversation in her head looking for signs that her mom needed help. She would wonder if it had all stopped or if her parents got better at hiding it. If it was better, if it had stopped, what did that mean? Does that mean it really was the kids’ fault? Were they really the ones that were pushing their dad over the edge? Was her mom subjected to years of abuse because of her and her brothers? 

That’s the part that Hailey couldn’t handle. She had accepted that her childhood was in the past and there was nothing she could do to change it. She had accepted that it was her father who was the problem, not her or her mom or her brothers. But seeing her parents seemingly happy, that made her wonder, does coming around now make things worse for her mom? What if Hailey said something that had upset her dad and he waited for her to leave to take it out on her mom? What if Hailey had spilled something at dinner and her mom would be the one to suffer the consequences once she left. Hailey’s mom and dad came all the way out to the city to have lunch with Hailey only for their time to be wasted when Hailey forgot. Would her mom end up having to suffer for this? Somehow, seeing her parents happy made her second guess whether or not she was actually the problem. This was a feeling that she couldn’t handle and a thought that she did not want floating around in her head. Not knowing what was happening behind closed doors and knowing her mom wouldn’t ask for help is what kept Hailey up at night. So, she chose to deal with that problem the only way she knew how; she avoided her parents and tried to convince herself that **_IF_** her mom was in danger, she would notice. She could notice the signs in victims before anyone else realized there was a problem, surely, she’d notice with her own parents. 

Hailey was happy to have Vanessa in the truck with them as they headed out to look for Sammy. She knew that left alone with Jay, the topic of what he saw in the breakroom would come up. She really did want to talk to Jay, but not while she was at work. She knew he would never bring up a personal topic in front of another person, so she was able to sit back and relax. 

“You guys still house hunting this weekend?”

“That’s the plan. It’s my first time so I am excited! I went from renting a room to the academy to my UC place.”

“But we are not going to jump at the first place we see right? We are going to look at a few options and then figure out which one best fits our needs.” Hailey laughed as she reminded Vanessa of their plan.

“Hailey got you doing research on HGTV Rojas?”

“I’m serious Jay! It is very easy to jump at the first place you see but it’s important to look at the options.” Hailey was being serious. However, she wasn’t sure if the plan was more to stop Vanessa from jumping at the first place they saw or herself. 

“You wanna join us Halstead? See which one of us sticks to the plan and which one needs to be dragged out of the first place we see?” 

“As much as I’d love to be a part of the Upton/Rojas House Hunters episode, I am going to pass. But count me in for moving day.” 

“You’re missing out Halstead! Maybe we can invite your parents to join us for dinner afterwards Hailey! Since you weren’t able to have lunch with them today.”

“Umm, you know, I already rescheduled plans with my mom for tomorrow. So, we don’t have to worry about it.” Hailey tried her hardest to sound casual about it, but Jay was already on alert. He knew something was bothering her but had absolutely no idea what it could possibly be. She was fine until her parents showed up and now, she is awkwardly trying to avoid making plans with them. Could there be something going on with her family?

Jay had to file this new information away as they pulled up to their location. He wouldn’t get a chance to talk to Hailey about it that day as the case picked up after the car ride. They couldn’t find Sammy but did locate some evidence in the church and where they believed the murder happened that led them to suspect Sammy wasn’t telling the truth. Vanessa had seemed to connect with Sammy so Hailey was keeping a close eye on her. It was strange for Jay to see; usually she was worrying about him. He noted the concern on her face, the side glances she shared with Voight and the way she seemed to stay close to Vanessa as if she needed to be there to catch her if she fell. He couldn’t help the pang of guilt he felt knowing that he had put Hailey through this and worse over the course of their 3-year partnership. Jay knew there was no way he was going to be able to talk to her tonight so he promised himself he would reach out first thing in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references a joke that I saw somewhere but for the life of me I can not remember where. So, to whoever made the joke about Hailey and Vanessa on House Hunters, thank you!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write! I am sorry if it feels choppy! Thank you for all the support and comments! I am glad you are enjoying this fic! I also have to say I don’t know anything about the social services that cities offer to homeless or mentally ill, so I apologize for the inaccuracies in that subject. 

**This chapter was hard to write! I am sorry if it feels choppy! Thank you for all the support and comments! I am glad you are enjoying this fic! I also have to say I don’t know anything about the social services that cities offer to homeless or mentally ill, so I apologize for the inaccuracies in that subject.**

Jay woke up that morning determined to make Hailey’s day a little better. He knew something was bothering her and he knew whatever it was, she wasn’t ready to tell him. He didn’t want to force the issue, but he was also determined to ask just in case she wanted to share. As he walked out of their favorite bakery with an assortment of Hailey’s favorite pastries, he felt good about his plan. He would get there early enough for them to have breakfast together but not so early that she wasn’t ready for the day. He had overheard Vanessa talking about meeting her friend Ben for breakfast to update him on where they were with the investigation so he knew that they would be alone.

As he walked up the stairs to her front door, the door unexpectedly swung open.

“Jay! What are you doing here?”

“Hey Vanessa, I was just about to knock. I just brought some breakfast over. I figured I should at least see how much heavy lifting needs to happen before I agree to spend a weekend moving you guys for free!”

Vanessa chuckled as she walked out and shut the door. She could tell Jay was surprised to see her and she’s pretty sure it wasn’t because she startled him when she walked out. If Vanessa had to guess, she would say that he had overheard her plans to have breakfast with Ben and was hoping to have alone time with Hailey. While she and Jay weren’t exactly close, she felt like she knew a lot about him through Hailey. She knew he could handle a little teasing and she could not pass up the opportunity to mess with him. 

“I wish I could! I was actually heading out to meet someone.”

“Oh man.”

“Wait! Is that from the bakery you always get Hailey’s scones from?”

“Uh, ya. It’s by my house so I just grabbed a bunch of different…”

“I have been wanting to try that place for a while now! Maybe I will join you guys! I am sure Ben won’t mind meeting later.”

“Oh. Are you sure? He seemed really upset yesterday, I am sure he’d appreciate an update.”

“I can take care of that over the phone and just meet up with him later. You went through all this trouble to surprise us with breakfast this morning!”

“I really don’t mind. You could even take one of the scones to go if you really want to try them.”

Vanessa couldn’t help the grin that formed on her face. She was not sure what was more adorable. Jay stumbling through this conversation or the fact that he was willing to pass off Hailey’s favorite breakfast treat just to get rid of her.

“You know, I think you are right. I really should meet up with Ben. Don’t worry about the scone, but if Hailey ends up not eating everything, I’d love to keep one of the pastries to try out!” Vanessa could see the relief wash over his face as she opened the door and motioned for him to go in.

“Hailey?! Halstead is here!”

“Really? I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Thanks Rojas. I’ll make sure we set a pastry or two aside for you.”

Vanessa winked at Jay as she thanked him and left the house. For a second there, Jay thought that she might have been messing with him, but he was not able to spend too much time thinking about the encounter as he heard Hailey bounding down the stairs.

“Hey. Everything ok?”

“Ya. I just thought I’d bring breakfast for all of us and see how much I should charge you for my services when moving day comes.”

“I don’t remember asking you to help.”

“It’s only a matter of time, Upton. There are 3 things in life that are guaranteed; death, taxes, and if you have a truck people will ask you to help move.”

Hailey laughed as she walked into the kitchen followed shortly by Jay. The sound of her laughter was more than enough to make Jay forget about his awkward encounter with Vanessa when he first arrived. If he could, he would spend everyday he had left on this earth trying to make her laugh. As she grabbed a couple of plates and started making coffee for them, he cringed at the thought of ruining the moment by asking her if she was ok.

“Rojas said she was meeting with her friend from social services. Is she going to try to get services lined up for Sammy?”

“Ya. She talked to the social worker from one of the programs Sammy had been previously at. I guess the issue with him is getting him to take his meds. If he can stay on the meds, he has a good shot at getting the help he needs. But it doesn’t sound like that it’s as simple as it sounds.”

Jay could read on Hailey’s face that she and Vanessa had talked extensively about Sammy’s situation. 

“Is Rojas taking it hard?”

Hailey pressed a soft smile to her lips as she thought about her conversation with Vanessa.

“She just really feels like she has a connection with him. I think she can see herself in the situation. She was lost in the foster care system her whole life. If she had never met Ben, who knows where she would be right now.”

“Man. That’s hard. I’m glad she has someone like him in her life. And that she has you.”

Hailey shared a small, almost sad smile with Jay. She loved having Vanessa in her life and the thought of life turning out differently for her friend was a sad one. She brought the two cups of coffee over to Jay and looked through the pastry box to see what was in store for her.

“I got a little bit of all your favorites. I figured the 2 of you had a rough day yesterday and could use a little pick me up.”

“I thought you came over to negotiate your fee for moving day?”

“I’m just killing 2 birds with one stone. I really just want to make sure you are ok. You seemed….bothered yesterday.”

Hailey smiled and looked down at the bear claw on her plate. She knew Jay was fishing for some insight into what happened yesterday. She knew that this was the perfect opportunity to pour her heart out; let Jay in on the big secret she hides in her closet. 

“Ya. I just…” Hailey paused and took a deep breath in. “Me and my dad just don’t get along. Like, at all.”

Jay nodded at her revelation. He knew exactly what it felt like to grow up with a parent you didn’t click with. He remembered the day his dad died the previous year and how he struggled with the guilt and the anger. He remembered trying to explain to Hailey that he and his dad had a complicated relationship. How embarrassed Pat Halstead was of his son. Well, of one of his sons. He remembered how terribly he had treated her that day, all the things he had said. Suddenly Jay was hit with a wave of panic as he remembered that day he got shot. That day they had fought. That day he had turned her into his punching bag. The look on her face when he accused her of projecting all her daddy daughter issues on him.

“Hailey. Umm.” Jay ran a hand across his face. He didn’t even know where to begin. He didn’t want to make the conversation about him, he wanted to hear more about what was bothering her, but he also had an overwhelming need to apologize to her.

“I, uh. I don’t.” Jay shook his head as he let out a deep sigh. Hailey knew exactly what was going through his head. She knew the second she brought up her dad and her not getting along that this would happen.

“When my dad..”

“Jay stop.” She shook her head and stood up. She walked over to the counter and turned around, leaning on it for support as she folded her arms across her chest. 

“Look, I know what you are going to say and it’s not necessary, ok? You’ve apologized so many times already, I forgave you the second I walked away from you that day. I get it. I understand how conflicted you felt about your dad and his death. There is no need to apologize, nothing has changed.”

Jay shook his head and stared at the table. He hated that she was making excuses for him. Doesn’t she know that she didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Doesn’t she know that there is no number of apologies he could make that would make what happened ok? Doesn’t she know how much it hurts him to know he hurt her?

“No. Hailey, it really isn’t ok. And you forgiving me doesn’t make it ok. It never should have happened and knowing that I-“ Jay had to stop to keep his voice from breaking. 

“I am not saying what happened is ok Jay. I am saying it’s ok to stop apologizing for it. The fact that my dad and I don’t get along doesn’t change anything that happened that day.”

Jay nodded at Hailey as she rubbed his shoulder. He couldn’t help but be angry at himself for what happened. He came here to make Hailey feel better yet here she was comforting him. 

“So when your dad showed up yesterday, you weren’t expecting to see him?”

Hailey nodded as she took a deep breath. How much detail did she want to go into at 7 in the morning?

“No. I had lunch plans with my mom that I forgot about. I was not expecting my dad to be with her.”

“You really going to dinner with them tonight?”

“Ya. I am.” Jay noticed the way her smile seemed to express more sadness than happiness.

“I get it. I hated seeing my dad. I’d spend the whole day fighting with him in my head, planning out exactly what he was going to say and how I would react so he didn’t see that he got to me. I’d be so worked up by the time I saw him I was already exhausted and done fighting. I get why avoiding them is easier.” Jay paused as he took a bite of his breakfast. “Do you get on with your mom?”

Hailey took a deep breath in as she tried to think of how to answer that question.

“I-. I have a lot of anger about my childhood. I am not entirely sure I even know who it is directed at. I love my mom. I love my dad. But, I don’t know. I-. I don’t know.”

Jay nodded in understanding as Hailey went back to the table to sit down. He could tell that she had already reached her limit on the subject. He had so many questions, but he knew that asking them was more than she could take at the moment.

Jay thought carefully about what he wanted to say next.

“Just. I just want you to know that you can talk to me. Seriously. Anytime about anything. I just want to help. I just want…..I want to be there for you. I want you to know that you have me, always, in your corner.”

Hailey smiled at Jay and nodded. She already knew that she could count on Jay for anything and talk to him whenever she needed. She still had so much to tell him. How it wasn’t as simple as getting along with her parents, how it wasn’t just anger about her childhood that she struggled with. How even still, to this day, she struggled with her relationship with her dad.

“I know. Maybe after dinner, if you aren’t too tired, maybe I can stop by?”

Jay responded with a smile and almost too eagerly told her yes. So he would have to wait a little bit longer to have that talk with Hailey about her childhood, but knowing that she wanted to was a step in the right direction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously have spent 2 days typing and erasing then retyping and what I ended up with is light years away from what I had originally wrote down. I wanted to wait until I had chapter 5 typed up before I posted this but I am not sure when I will have a chance to sit and write again. Since the last chapter was so short I wanted to put this one out too. There is a few more chapters left in this story but it may take a few days to get chapter 5 up!
> 
> Thanks for reading and your support!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if the scenes with the case don’t match up to the actual episode. I feel like the chapter is choppy because of it. I am going based off of memory because I don’t want to focus too much on the actual episode, just slide in what I wish would have happened into it!

After setting aside some pastries for Vanessa, Jay and Hailey rode off to work. 

As the case began to move along, Hailey was relieved that she had something to distract her from dinner that night. She also had something to look forward to, drinks with Jay later that night. While they hadn’t specifically made plans to drink, Hailey knew that’s exactly what late night meetings at one of their houses meant. She knew that she would be on edge after seeing her mom and was happy that she’d be able to unwind with her partner that night. Unfortunately, Hailey’s day wouldn’t go quite as planned.

When she saw her mom’s name pop up on her phone, Hailey’s stomach tied in a knot. She answered hesitantly, not entirely sure of what to expect.

“Hey mom.”

“Hi sweetheart. Are you at work?”

“Ya, still working on this case. What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking, I am really tired and it’s not even noon yet. I am not sure that I will be feeling well enough to go out to dinner.”

Hailey closed her eyes tightly and cringed at what her mom had said.

“So, you want to reschedule?”

“If we could that, it would really make me happy sweetie.”

Hailey felt an angry wave coming over her body. This was typical of her mom when she was growing up. Sure, sometimes she really didn’t feel good or really was tired, but sometimes she needed an extra day or two to let the bruising calm down before going out in public. Hailey could push the issue, start a fight with her mom, with her dad, work herself up when her mom made the excuses. Instead, she decided that she would what she had been doing since she left her parents house. Play the game. Reschedule plans. Pretend nothing was wrong then try not to think about it. She had learned long ago that her mom wasn’t going to leave.

“Are you sure everything is ok mom?”

“I think so. I am not sure what happened but this wave of exhaustion just took over my body. I really do not feel good at all.”

“Is it just a tired feeling or do you have other symptoms?”

“It’s just a tired feeling. I may go to the doctor tomorrow if I don’t feel better.”

“Ok mom. Well, Jay’s brother is a doctor, so if you don’t feel better give me a call and I’ll see if I can get him on the phone with you.”

“A doctor? Really?”

Hailey chuckled at how impressed her mom sounded. She would NOT be telling Dr. Halstead about that.

“Ya mom. I know a lot of people. Cops, doctors, lawyers. You have a problem, I know someone that can fix it. There is nothing I can’t help you with.” Hailey knew she was laying it on pretty thick, but she needed to make sure her mom knew that there was help if she needed it.

“I appreciate it Hailey. Really, I do. If I am not feeling better in the morning, I will give you a call. I love you Hailey.”

“Love you, too mom. Bye.” Hailey hung up the phone hoping that her mom really was just feeling under the weather. She couldn’t handle the alternative. For now, all she could do was bury herself in this case until it was time to head to Jay’s. 

Much to Hailey’s relief, Vanessa was able to get Sammy to open up and give them a lead on Roberto’s death. Vanessa took Kevin with her to run down leads leaving Hailey, Adam and Jay behind at the district. When Jay stepped out, Hailey took the opportunity to approach Adam. She knew how excited he had been. When they were together, he always talked about his nephews and how excited he was to spend time with them. She knew there was a lot of tension between Adam and Kim in the days before they lost the baby, but it seemed like they were finally on the same page recently.

“Hey.” She said as she leaned against Adam’s desk. Adam looked up from his computer and flashed a small smile in response.

“I just wanted to check in. See if you needed anything.” 

“I’m good. I’m good. Just still trying to process everything.”

“Have you seen Kim since you picked her up at the hospital?”

“She’s not ready for company. She’s- she. I don’t know. Honestly, she won’t talk to me.” Adam stared off into space as he tried to process what was going on with Kim. “She just wants to be alone.”

Hailey nodded in understanding. No, she didn’t understand what they were going through, she had never gone through a miscarriage much less one as brutal as they had. But she understood how it felt to be pushed away; she also understood how it felt to be the one pushing. Her and Kim were not the best of friends, really, they did not spend a lot of time outside of work unless it was in a group setting. Still, Hailey had reached out over the phone and let her know that she was around if Kim needed anything. She knew Kim would not take her up on the offer, but she also knew that it was important for her to know that everyone in the unit was there for her. 

“I’m sorry Adam. It is all still really new. You guys are grieving, and everyone is going to go through that differently. She will come around. Just make sure she knows that you will be there when she’s ready.” Hailey smiled softly at Adam and gave him a shoulder squeeze. 

Just then they heard feet coming up the stairs signaling the return of one of their teammates. Adam cleared his throat and nodded to Hailey. At that moment Jay reached the top of the stairs and involuntarily raised an eyebrow at the scene. Hailey excused herself from Adam’s desk and walked back to her own. Jay’s eyes darted between Hailey and Adam trying to figure out what was going on. They were both clearly upset but he wasn’t sure if it was about Hailey’s parents or Kim’s miscarriage. It had been almost a year since he last felt this red-hot feeling coursing through his veins. Jealously. He did not miss this, but he knew that until he was ready to tell Hailey how he really felt, he would have to live with the uncertainty that there was something-some one- to be jealous of. 

Before he could get lost in his thoughts, Hailey got an alert that their suspect had been spotted. With that news, the team sprang into action trying to catch up to him. As Hailey was riding along in the passenger seat of Jay’s truck, she could feel his eyes darting over to her at every red light. 

“Something on your mind Halstead?”

“Nope.” Jay said, making sure to exaggerate the pop sound on the p. 

Hailey crinkled her forehead and she shot a doubtful look over at Jay. 

“O-kay” Hailey shot back, shot back drawing out the a. 

She wasn’t entirely sure what had caused the shift in attitude with Jay but she wasn’t in the mood to ask. Luckily for both of them, the case picked up speed when they were out searching for their suspect. Voight and Adam were able to catch him so they headed over to the scene. While they were processing, Hailey found herself looking over at Jay, trying to figure out what had happened. They had a great morning, even made plans to get together later that night. Jay wanted her to open up to him and she had convinced herself that tonight would be the night that finally happened. She would finally bring Jay in on her big secret. Well, not that one. Her other secret, her childhood. Not how she felt about him. That she still wasn’t sure how to deal with. But now, Jay seemed distant. He wasn’t ignoring her, but he also wasn’t going out of his way to engage her in conversation. He was, professional. 

When they were almost finished processing the scene, Vanessa got a phone call informing her that Sammy had ran away from the hospital. After Voight gave her and Hailey permission to break off from the scene to look for him, Hailey made her way over to Jay.

“Hey.”

Jay looked up from his notepad and nodded in response.

“Me and Rojas are heading out. Sammy is missing and I’m gonna help her look for him.”

“Ok, let me find Voight. I’ll come with you guys.”

“No, it’s ok. We got it. I just,” Hailey tilted her head and flashed a little smile at Jay that made his heart ache “my mom cancelled so I’m not going to dinner. I don’t know how long this will take and- I wasn’t sure if we were still having drinks tonight. If it was still ok to come over?” Hailey braced herself for the disappointing rejection that she was sure was coming her way. In that moment, when Jay saw the look in her eyes, he realized in he had made her doubt his sincerity. Doubt that he really wanted to be there for her no matter what.

Jay took a couple of steps closer and looked around to see if anyone was watching. He looked down at their hands and watched his grab hers as if they had a mind of their own. Very softly, making sure to make eye contact, Jay told her what she had hoped to hear.

“Please call me when you are heading over.” Hailey smiled as the relief washed over her. As water began to well up in her eyes, she nodded and said ok. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying! More to come! If you can't tell, I am all about the Hailey/Adam friendship! However, I also can't resist a little jealous Jay.
> 
> All characters still belong to Dick Wolf!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind comments! As a fan of fanfiction, I really appreciate that you guys are loving this story! I am glad that I can write something to entertain you for a few minutes!

As Hailey turned away from Jay, she fought to maintain her composure. All the stress of the last couple of days had finally caught up to her. She thought about the dinner with her mom that was cancelled and what that could mean. She thought about her friends who had just lost their baby. She thought about her roommate that was letting a case become too personal. She thought about the partner that she thought was upset with her. The one who just held her hands, saying more with one gesture than anyone had ever said to her. She tried to shake off her emotions before Vanessa saw.

“Everything ok?”

“Hmm? Ya. I was just letting Jay know I was heading out. We rode in together.”

“You really don’t have to come Hailey. You’ve already done enough. I don’t want to ruin your evening.”

“It’s not like I got a hot date waiting Rojas. Grub hub can wait.”

“I thought you were meeting your mom tonight?”

“She wanted to reschedule. Wasn’t feeling good. I’ve got nowhere to be but helping you.” Vanessa wasn’t sure if Hailey was lying but she was positive that there was somewhere else Hailey wanted to be. But if her time as Hailey’s roommate had taught her anything, it was that when Hailey doesn’t want to talk about something, its best to let it go. 

Remembering his love of books, the two women began checking libraries and book depositories looking for Sammy. They managed to find but by the time they did, he was spiraling. Vanessa tried to talk him down, tried to convince him to put his gun down and come with her. He was almost ready to do it until he heard sirens in the distance. Panicked, he fired off some shots and took off running. As Hailey called in the shots fired to her location, they took off after him. 

Vanessa knew he had a gun with him, he had shot at them after all before he took off running. She chased him into a grocery store and began to evacuate the people inside. She was able to get everyone except a man and his daughter out. Vanessa tried to calm Sammy down, but he was too agitated. She knew he had a gun and knew the only person keeping the man and his daughter safe was her. She saw Sammy reach into his pocket and she knew what she had to do. 

Hailey heard the gunshot and called in to her radio again. As she ran into the grocery store, it sure what to expect but hoping it wasn’t her friend on the floor. As she turned the corner around one of the shelves, she saw Vanessa hunched over Sammy. She was talking to Sammy while trying to control the bleeding. Hailey saw that she had the situation under control so she radioed in for an ambulance and ran outside to flag them down.

It was 9 at night by the time the ambulance took Sammy to the hospital. Hailey knew there was no way she would be leaving anytime soon. They still had to give statements and the patrol hadn’t found the gun that Sammy dropped yet. Vanessa was shook up and Hailey knew she needed her. Hailey let out a deep sigh as she pulled out her phone to text Jay. She didn’t want to cancel, but there was no way she was going to make drinks tonight.

_Hey. Rojas and I ended up dodging bullets tonight. We are fine but we are stuck at the scene for a while. Drinks will have to wait._

Hailey pressed send and pushed her phone into her pocket. She felt like Jay had taken a really big step towards her the last time she saw him and now she felt like she was taking 10 steps away from him. She didn’t want to cancel, but she couldn’t leave Vanessa. Even if she could, there was no way that they were leaving that grocery sure anytime soon.

As she began walking back into the store, she felt her phone vibrating indicating an income call. She pulled it out and smiled to see Jay’s name on the screen.

“Hello”

“Hailey. What happened?”

“We found Sammy. He got a gun off one of the homeless guys at the church. He got spooked and fired. Rojas chased him into a grocery store and had to take a shot.”

“But everyone’s ok?”

Hailey sighed. “No. We are waiting for Voight but, they took Sammy to the hospital. Jay, they can’t find the gun.”

“What do you mean?”

“He ditched the gun. He had it, he fired at us in the library. Rojas said he reached for something in the grocery store, but it turned out to be a phone.”

“Ok well he had to have dropped it along the way. She had every reason to believe he was reaching for a gun, he fired at you guys.”

“Patrol is still looking. They already alerted IA about an officer involved shooting. I don’t -“

“Hailey, it’s ok. She didn’t do anything wrong. Where are you guys? I’ll come down.”

“You don’t have to Jay. Voight is on his way. He’ll know what to do. I just wanted to let you know that I am not going to be able to make it tonight.”

Jay sighed in disappointment. He was looking forward to spending time with Hailey and talking to her about what had been bothering her the past few days. With the officer involved shooting happening, he wanted to be there for her more than ever.

“I want to come Hailey. We don’t have to get drinks after. I want to be there for you guys, for Rojas. Text me the address please. Don’t make me ask Voight.”

Hailey knew there was nothing Jay could do, but she also knew there was no way he wasn’t showing up at the grocery store. She sighed and sent off the address just as Voight arrived. Hailey briefed him on what happened and told him that Vanessa was worried. Shortly after he arrived the team that investigates police involved shootings showed up. Hailey volunteered to give her statement first while Voight told Rojas what to expect and what to do. While Vanessa was giving her statement, Jay had arrived at the scene. He walked over to Hailey and noticed that Voight was standing with Vanessa as she was speaking with the investigators. 

“Hey.”

“Jay.” Hailey had to resist the urge seek comfort in Jays arms. The closest thing to a hug they had ever shared was on the bottom of a surveillance van when Jay was using his body to shield her from gunfire. She had shared hugs with friends, CIs, Kevin, even Voight, but somehow Jay’s name was not on that list. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it. More than she cares to admit. Some people fantasize about kisses, some people fantasize about more NC 17 activities, but Hailey, she fantasized about Jay’s arms. She wondered what it felt like to have them wrapped around her. The smell of his soap under her nose, the feel of his skin brushing her face, the sense of safety that she was convinced she would instantly feel. 

That’s what she imagined a Jay hug would feel like; not intimate, not friendly, not casual, but safe. That is what she felt for those 35 seconds that she laid on the van floor waiting for the bullets to stop flying. It was the most dangerous situation she had ever been in, yet all she felt in that moment was safe in Jay’s arms. It was a feeling she had been craving her entire life and it was a desire that she had been trying not to give in to the entire time she had known Jay. Somewhere along the line, they had established this invisible line that neither one would cross. A line that said, “that’s not something we do”. We joke, we high five, we squeeze shoulders, pat on backs, gently touch forearms, fall asleep next to each other on the couch, but no, no hugs. So here they are. Not hugging. Both not realizing how desperately they both want to. How much they both needed to. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support! I love reading your comments! I was still writing chapter 7 and realized that it was getting pretty long so I decided to split it up. I’ll have the next part of chapter 7 (which will now be chapter 8-I hope that’s not confusing) up later today. I am still writing it but I couldn’t wait to update!

As Jay reached where Hailey was standing, he could not help but notice how scared she looked. As veteran cops, they had been on the other side of officer involved shootings on more than one occasion. They knew all too well how scary, nerve wrecking and stressful they were. Even when you did nothing wrong, even when you knew that it would be a fast investigation with all the evidence in your favor, you still couldn’t help but worry until it was over. There was nothing comforting about being investigated. This was Vanessa’s first. He understood how nerve racking it would be for Hailey to see her friend go through this. 

“Hey”

“Jay” 

Maybe it was the look on her face, maybe it was the way she said his name, maybe it was his own selfish need to hold her, but in that moment, Jay decided he wasn’t going to let an invisible line dictate how he took care of his partner. Before either one of them knew what was happening, Jay had Hailey wrapped up in his arms. As she wrapped her arms around his torso, she let out a deep breath and willed herself to keep her composure. They were at a crime scene. Surrounded by patrol and IA. Hardly the best time to lose it in the arms of your partner. But Hailey couldn’t stop the wave of emotion that swept through her body and soul. After what seemed like forever, but in reality, was 10 seconds, she felt him start to loosen his hold on her.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he looked her in the eye to make sure that he could get an accurate read on her.

“You good?”

Hailey sniffled. “Yeah.” And for the first time in a while Jay believed she really was. 

As Vanessa finished giving her statement, Voight looked up to see Jay had arrived on the scene. He felt better seeing his two most seasoned detectives being there for their rookie. He knew that there was only one way that the investigation gets wrapped up quickly, and it wasn’t from waiting for patrol to find the gun. He motioned over for Hailey and Jay to join him and Vanessa.

“Voight. Rojas. How did it go?”

“Good. I think. I don’t know. I swear there was a gun.” Hank could her the uncertainty in her voice. He knew she was telling the truth but the fact that patrol couldn’t find the gun was starting to create doubt in her head. The longer it was missing, the more likely she was to express that doubt out loud. With the IA team still around, this could turn into a problem for her.   
“We know Vanessa. I’m gonna check in with patrol. See where they are with the canvassing and make sure they didn’t overlook anything.” Hank patted her on the back then motioned to Jay as he walked away.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hailey called. Told me what happened. I figured Rojas could use all the support she could get.” Hank grunted as he took in what Jay said. OK. I’ll give him this tonight. I’ll go along with he is here for Vanessa.

“I’m gonna check in with patrol. We aren’t allowed to be involved with the investigation, but we can make sure patrol does a thorough job. I’ll retrace the route from here to the library. You check in with Med. See if you can find out what’s going on with Sammy.” Jay nodded in approval of Hank’s plan.

Hailey and Vanessa found themselves alone, waiting for news that they could leave. Hailey did her best to comfort Vanessa. She knew that it wasn’t just the missing gun that was bothering her. It was also the guilt of shooting Sammy. Even though she did nothing wrong, she had shot him thinking he was reaching for a gun when he had not. Now he was fighting for his life, and Vanessa felt the guilt of being responsible. She knew there was nothing she could say to make it go away, so she resigned herself to trying to keep Vanessa’s hope alive.

“Listen. It was a good shoot ok. You did what you had to, do not start second guessing yourself. Ok? You hear me?” Hailey was forceful when she spoke. She had her hands on Vanessa’s shoulders to make sure that they were eye to eye to drive the point further home.

Vanessa seemed to nod in agreement, though Hailey knew it was an attempt to make Hailey feel better. Suddenly, Hailey’s phone began to buzz. She felt relief kick in as she read the words on her screen. Her firm expression and tone were replaced with happiness and relief.

“Ok! It’s Jay! He spoke to the docs at ICU. Sammy’s doing much better, he’s stabilized!” She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped with the words she was saying.

Vanessa didn’t seem to quite process the words Hailey had said.

“-Kay, what’s that mean?”

“It means he has a chance, okay!” Hailey exclaimed as she tried to express to Vanessa that this was a good thing. She saw the words register when Vanessa broke into a smile and began shaking her head in understanding. 

“Let’s go find that gun. Come on.” Before Hailey could even turn around, Hank was standing behind them.

“No need. Patrol officer just found it.” Vanessa and Hailey couldn’t believe what they were hearing. 

“A .9?” Vanessa needed to be sure she was processing the news correctly. She couldn’t get her hopes up that it was a mistake. Hanks smile and nod was all she needed to know it was over. She allowed herself to relax after a stressful night.

“Why don’t you go home get some rest.” “Hank could sense Vanessa’s hesitation. “That’s an order.”

Vanessa nodded in agreement and exited the store. Hailey, still not understanding what happened with the gun, addressed Hank.

“So, where’d they find it? Patrol checked everywhere Sammy had run.”

“I just told patrol to recheck the alley behind the place. I guess they got lucky.” Hank reasoned with a tight nod.

Hailey had been in Hank’s world long enough to understand what this meant. She smiled and acknowledged his statement as he put a hand on her back, guiding her out. 

“Let’s get out of here.”

When they excited the store, they found Vanessa and Jay talking to each other. As they approached, Hank told them all they did a good job. He bid them good night and went home thankful that his unit had managed to dodge another bullet. 

“I am going to head over to the hospital. I want to check in on Sammy, see how he’s doing.” Hailey wasn’t sure that was a good idea considering the roller coaster that they had just been on with Sammy, but she knew there was nothing she could say to stop Vanessa.

“I can take Hailey home. Go do what you need to do.” Jay told her to give her peace of mind that Hailey would make it home.

“You sure you’re ok?” Hailey asked. Vanessa nodded yes as she hugged and thanked both Hailey and Jay for being there. As they watched her leave, they made the short walk over to Jay’s truck.

“So, Rojas is a hugger then.” Jay stated. He hadn’t spent much time outside of work with Vanessa, so he was surprised to be the receipt of such a heartfelt embrace.

“Ya. It took me some getting used to.” Hailey stated while she chuckled. 

As they entered the car Hailey felt herself melt in the comfort of Jay’s passenger seat. She would never tell anyone, but she always felt more comfortable in this spot than any other car seat, including her own. She was perfectly happy to split the driving duties with Jay, but if it were up to her, she would ride shotgun in his pickup every time they drove somewhere. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in to let herself fully sink into her seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene is pretty much what happened on the show. I just slid Jay in there 😉 Just think of it as scenes we didn’t get to see! The next part will be out sometime today. I have to finish up the last paragraph but won’t be able to get to it until later. I was excited for an Upstead hug so I had to get this part up for you guys!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your comments!! I really enjoy reading them! I know it’s been a slow burn, I'm sorry for the wait. After this chapter I am going to skip over episode 15 completely (there wasn’t much Upstead in it) and get straight to the meat and bones of episode 16! So hang tight! I hope to have the last couple of chapters out this week!

Hailey was brought back to reality when she heard the closing of Jay’s door. She opened her eyes to find him looking at her with a worried look on his face.

“Vanessa is going to be alright. They found the gun.” Jay said softly in an effort to reassure Hailey.

“I know. It’s just been a long day.”

Jay nodded in understanding and started his car. He was trying to think of what to say when Hailey spoke first.

“Thank you for coming. Really. I think it meant a lot to Vanessa to have us there watching her back.”

“Of course. We’ve all been there. No one should go through that alone.” Hailey smiled as she thought about their unit. How family doesn’t even begin to describe what they have. 

“What happened with your mom?” Hailey’s turned her head so quickly to face him that she thought she could get whiplash.

“Huh? Oh. She wasn’t feeling good. Said she needed to push it back a bit. It’s not surprising. Happens often.” Hailey stated casually.

“Is that what you and Adam were talking about?” Hailey looked over at Jay confused, not understanding the question.

“When I came into the bullpen early, you and Adam were having a conversation. You both seemed upset.” Hailey suddenly realized what had triggered the sudden change in Jay’s attitude earlier that day. He was jealous. She wasn’t sure what to do with this information. She didn’t want to call him out, but she didn’t want to let it slide either. She shifted in her chair and thought carefully about her next words.

“No. We were talking about him. I was asking him if he was ok. Making sure that there wasn’t something he needed to talk about.”

“Oh.” Jay suddenly felt bad about asking. He was so wrapped up in his jealousy that it didn’t occur to him that Hailey was just helping a friend in need.

“Kim won’t talk to him.” Hailey continued, looking down at her hands. “He is trying to be there for her, but she isn’t ready yet.”

“What she went through Hails, that’s not something you just bounce back from. There’s going to be a lot of anger at the world there for a while. It’s going to take time.”

“I know. That’s what I told Adam. But he’s a fixer. He can’t stand back and watch someone he loves suffer. Look at what he did with Antonio. He went to jail to protect him. And that’s all he wants, to protect Kim from the pain but she won’t let him.” Hailey was staring to get choked up. She felt nothing but sadness and pain for both of her friends. 

“She’s not ready. It’s not ‘she won’t let him.’ She just isn’t at that part of her grieving process yet. When she gets there, Adam will be the only one she turns to.” Jay was really kicking himself for starting this conversation while he was driving. All he wanted to do was look at Hailey, but he was stuck with his eyes on the road. He had no idea if he was making this better or worse.

“Ya. You’re right.” Hailey sincerely stated. After a few moments of silence, she realized that they were close to her house. She wasn’t ready for the night to end but she knew her body would hate her tomorrow if she didn’t call it a night. She had been through too much emotional turmoil for one day.

“You know, Adam and I are just friends.”

Jay was taken back by Hailey’s statement. He knew he had no right to be, he was, after all, the one that was jealous at seeing them together. And, he was the one that, in a round about way, brought the subject up.

“I know it doesn’t make sense for exes to be friends. I honestly thought it was weird that Adam and Kim were after calling off an engagement. But, I get it now. Once Adam makes room for you in his life, you get a spot forever.”

Jay nodded in agreement as they pulled up to Hailey’s place. He took his seatbelt off but left the car running, not sure what Hailey was wanting to happen. 

“I’m glad that you have a lot of people in your life you can turn to. You can always come to me but if you aren’t comfortable, I’m glad you have others to turn to.” Jay sincerely meant what he had said. 

“I know.” Hailey sighed as she weighed whether to open up. “I was upset, though. About my mom. Her and my dad-“ Hailey shook her head trying to think of what to say “there was a lot of fighting in my house growing up. Lots of screaming, throwing things, making threats, it just. It wasn’t a happy place to be. Seeing them now, it’s just hard. I’m so angry at them. I’m so angry and I don’t know what to do with that anger. So I avoid them. And it works. Until I have to see them again. Then, then I find myself-. I just-.” Hailey realized that she was balling up her fists. She took a deep breath in to try to relax. “It’s just easier for me to not see them.”

Hailey was too afraid to look Jay in the eyes. If she had, she would have seen his heart breaking. He couldn’t believe she opened up like that. He couldn’t believe what he heard her say. He couldn’t believe that anyone would put their children through that. He couldn’t believe that Hailey never told him. He could relate, he grew up in a house with a lot of criticism and anger and fighting. He realizes he should say something, but he doesn’t know what. Instead, he decides to cross that invisible line again. Twice in one day, but who’s keeping track?

Jay turns off the car, gets out and walks over to the passenger door. Hailey finds herself confused as she watches him walk around the front of the car. He opens her door and reaches out for her hand to guide her out of the car. Once her feet are firmly planted on the ground, still not entirely understanding what is happening, Jay wraps her in his arms. And again, she finds herself giving in to the feeling of safety. She feels his hand stroking her hair while the other one pulls her into him. She wraps her arms around him and tries her best to breath in deeply and control her emotions. She has so much more to say, but she is drained. She hears him beginning to take deep breaths and instead of analyzing it in her head, she just lets herself get lost in the warmth of his arms. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Hailey feels a shiver run through her body as he softly whispers his question into her ear. He wants to stay, but he doesn’t want to be the one to say it. He knows she is vulnerable and doesn’t want to take advantage of her. He wants everything going forward to be her idea. He knows she is done talking, that she has hit her limit for the day. He fully expects to be sent home. 

“Ya. Maybe, we can put something on the tv? Just, tune everything out until we fall asleep. Maybe finish talking tomorrow?”

She can feel Jay’s heart quicken and feel the smile forming against her hair. He pulls back and puts an arm around her shoulder as they begin walking towards her house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter jumps into episode 16! You can expect for Hailey to reveal much more to Jay than we saw in the show! Thanks for reading and have a great day!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all your kind words and comments! This chapter skips completely over episode 15. Not because it wasn’t a good episode, but because I don’t want to drag this out the slow burn any more than it has already been! 

Vanessa knew she hit the jackpot when she joined intelligence; but what she didn’t know was that meeting Hailey Upton would change her life. She could count on one hand the number of people that she believed had her best interests at heart. Hailey was without a doubt one of them. When she was invited to move into the 2-bedroom townhouse, she told Hailey that it would be temporary. She didn’t want to impose, and she genuinely didn’t have an apartment because she hadn’t had time to look. The first few weeks she lived there, she made sure to make herself invisible. She would stay in her room unless she was preparing a meal or eating. Hailey would invite her out to watch tv with her, which Vanessa loved, but she made sure to wait to be invited. Hailey had told Vanessa it was her house too and to make herself at home, but Vanessa was really worried to impose on her privacy. Hailey had assured her that she did not have a personal life and the only people that came knocking on her door were delivery guys and her partner. As weeks went by, Vanessa became more and more comfortable around the house and began to lounge around. When Jay would come over, she would sit in the kitchen with them for a drink before excusing herself. It’s not that she felt unwelcome, but she just had a feeling that what they needed was one-on-one time. 

After Jay was shot, Hailey spent all her time in the hospital. After he woke up, she would come home to shower, change and eat before heading back to the hospital. Vanessa could see that her feelings for Jay went deeper than a partnership, but she did not think Hailey knew that. Feeling brave one day, Vanessa suggested to Hailey that she loved Jay. 

“Of course I love him. He’s my partner.”

Vanessa knew in that moment that the lightbulb went off in Hailey’s head. She waited for Hailey to bring it up with her, she knew better than to pry. But when Hailey never mentioned it again, Vanessa realized that she was not ready to face that reality. After Jay was released from the hospital, Hailey had offered to stay with him at his place for the first few nights. Since then, Jay had spent the night at their place a couple of times. Always after a hard case, always on the couch. The mornings never felt awkward, Vanessa made sure not to tease or ask questions. Hailey and Jay were two of the most private people she had ever met and she was not going to make them feel uncomfortable by prying into their lives. She figured when Hailey wanted to talk about it, she would. Until then, Vanessa was perfectly content to sit back and watch the aching dance the two detectives were awkwardly doing. 

When she came home from checking in on Sammy, she wasn’t surprised to see Jay’s truck. When she walked into her house, she wasn’t surprised to hear the tv going. When she walked closer to the couch, she wasn’t surprised to see the back of Jay’s head resting as he slept. What she was surprised to see, however, was her roommate, curled up next to him. Head resting against his side with his arm draped across her shoulders. This was new. Not necessarily surprising, but new. Vanessa froze, terrified the two would wake and find her there. As quietly as she possibly could, she tiptoed out of the living room and quietly made her way upstairs. She had a long day and all she wanted to do was jump in bed a forget everything that happened that day.

Well, Almost everything. Some things were worth remembering.

The next morning when Vanessa came down the stairs, she found Hailey sitting in the kitchen waiting for her coffee to finish brewing. Vanessa had decided that she would pretend like she hadn’t walked into the living room that day. She couldn’t help but notice that Hailey seemed well rested. Seemed to be a little more relaxed than she usually did pre-coffee.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning. Did you sleep good? I didn’t hear you come in last night.” 

Hailey wasn’t sure if Vanessa had noticed her and Jay on the couch sleeping. When she felt Jay wake up at 5, she kicked herself for sleeping through the night. She had fully planned to let herself be comforted in Jay’s arms until she fell asleep. She figured that she would wake up when Vanessa came home or at some point during the night. She hadn’t been sleeping well lately and a restless night’s sleep was almost a guarantee after the day she had. She told Jay that she probably wouldn’t last very long after they settled on the couch. Jay put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side in response to her statement.

“That’s fine. Sleep.”

And that’s what she did. When she felt Jay start to stir, she opened her eyes to see that she had somehow shifted positions in her sleep. Jay was leaning against the arm rest on the couch with Hailey curled up next to him, her head resting on his chest. Jay saw her eyes darting around the room and figured she was confused.

“We fell asleep. I didn’t want your neck to be sore, so I moved you to a more comfortable position. I hope that’s ok.” Jay really did hope it was ok. He was not sure if he had crossed a line by staying on the couch with her. When he woke up after a few hours and found that they were still on the couch and Hailey was still leaning into him, he didn’t have the heart to wake her from her peaceful sleep. He blamed it on his sleep haze but really, it was his need to be there for her that lead him to move her to rest on his chest. Hailey smiled at him; he was adorable in his early morning haze.

“Thank you. Did Vanessa come in?”

“I am not sure. I didn’t hear her.”

Hailey didn’t worry. She knew that even if Vanessa had seen them, she would never say anything. She sat up and ran a hand through her hair.

“What time is it?”

“I am pretty sure 5. My internal clock doesn’t allow me to sleep a minute beyond 5 no matter what I did the night before.” Jay looked over to Hailey and they shared a small smile. Hailey ran a hand over her face in an effort to wake herself up more.

“I didn’t drool on you, did I?”

Jay chuckled at the scrunched-up face Hailey wore when she asked. Even if she did, there was no way he’d tell her. 

“No. I think we’re good.” They sat there for a moment staring at each other. Jay didn’t know what to say but luckily for him, Hailey was also at a loss for words. He couldn’t quite place the feeling he was experiencing. It wasn’t weird waking up with Hailey curled up on him. The morning after wasn’t at all awkward like he had worried it would be. In fact, it felt completely, normal. And right. And how every morning should be. Maybe one day, this is how every morning would be. 

“You good?” Jay asked to be sure that Hailey didn’t need him.

“All good partner.”

“Alright. I’m gonna head out. I have a follow up at Med so I need to go home before work.”

“What time is your appointment? I can pick you up and go with you.”

“Uh…” Hailey could sense Jay’s hesitation. Any time he had to do anything that involved his shooting, whether it was talking about it or a hospital follow-up, Jay would get visibly uncomfortable. It wasn’t anything that she ever asked about but when she noticed it happening, she would try her best to diffuse the tension.

“Relax Halstead. I’m not suggesting I hold your hand. Just offering a ride. Think of it as a thank you.”

Jay blushed slightly as he nodded his head in agreement. His follow-ups were exhausting. Not the physical part, that was easy. But the questions. The prying questions about how he feels, what he thinks, past traumas, that is the part that Jay dreads. As much as he doesn’t want to have anyone around for that, he also knows that things are always easier when Hailey is around. So, he gives in and accepts the ride from Hailey. 

“I got in around 1. I was pretty much asleep on my feet, so I went straight upstairs. I heard the tv going but I wasn’t in the mood to be social.” Vanessa hopes that this is enough to convince Hailey that she did not see them last night. And it seems to work. Vanessa notices Hailey’s shoulders relax.

“Where you able to talk to Sammy at all?”

“No. He didn’t wake up while I was there, and the nurses said with the amount of medicine he was on he probably wouldn’t for a while.” Hailey noted the sadness in Vanessa’s voice.

“I’m taking Halstead to Med today for a follow-up on his shoulder. I can pop in and check on him if you want?”

Vanessa smiled kindly at Hailey’s offer. As she looked at her, she thought about how much she has seen Hailey go through in the short amount of time she has known her. She thought about all the good she has seen her do and wanted to do something in return. In that moment, she knew there was only one thing she could do to truly repay her. Give her back her partner.

“So I was thinking. Working this last case with you and Halstead, it made me realize that there is a lot I still have to learn. And I love working with you and being your partner, but I also feel like I haven’t really built up everyone’s trust in me yet. You guys are all such a smooth unit and work well with anyone you ride with. I want to fit in like that too.” Vanessa could see from Hailey’s expression that she wasn’t understanding what she was trying to say.

“Vanessa, it takes time to build partnerships. You fit in great with the unit. Give it more time. You can’t build trust overnight.

“I know. And I guess that’s the point I am trying to make. I need to start working with other people in the unit and build up my skills. Maybe then I will be able to build that trust me and you have with other people in the unit.” Vanessa suddenly felt bad about this idea. Hailey’s face looked hurt and Vanessa was not expecting that.

“I figured I could partner up with Kim. Since she’s partnered with Jay, you guys could just go back to being partners.” Vanessa noticed Hailey’s eyebrow twitch momentarily. “I thought that way the only person that gets a new partner is Kim.”

It hadn’t occurred to Hailey that Vanessa getting a new partner might result in her getting Jay back. She enjoyed working with Vanessa, but she had to agree that the bonds Vanessa was seeking was only going to happen by working more one on one with the other people. 

“Ya, I get what you’re saying. I think it’s a good idea.”

“Cool! Ok, any advice on how to approach Voight?”

“How about you let me do that? I am sure he’ll be fine with it. I’ll call when I get to Med.”

Hailey had to be honest with herself. 

Once they had figured out the partner situation, Vanessa noticed how relaxed Hailey seemed to be this morning. She wasn’t sure if it was a result of possibly having Jay back as her partner or the night she spent Even though Vanessa suspected it was more than just falling asleep at each other’s houses, she had no doubt that neither one of them realized it or would ever admit it to themselves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! One more chapter and it will be long so I can bring this fic to an end! Thank you again for all the support and I am glad you are enjoying this.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the end! Thank you to those who stuck around to read! I have enjoyed the comments and feedback. I did brush over quite a bit of the episode just because it’s all stuff we’ve already seen and I wanted to get this up quickly since a lot of people have been hoping for the opening up scene. I hope that summarizing some of the events was enough to still make the story make sense. Some of the dialogue comes from the actual episode because I thought it was powerful and needed to be repeated. As always, thanks to the Upstead tumblr group for the support and to Dick Wolf for creating the show and all the characters in it!

Once Jay went in to speak with his doctor, Hailey gave Voight a call. She wasn’t sure how he’d react to her request. She could just tell him it was all Vanessa’s idea, and it really was. But she knew that deep down inside the person who was benefitting most from this was her. She felt herself spiraling. Even before the visit from her parents; before Darius. But the rabbit hole has gotten deeper since that night when Darius was killed; since Voight confronted her in the bar, since his words started to haunt her. 

“Something inside me, I turned it off a long time ago. You do something like this, you don’t turn that part off, it will eat you alive.”

In that moment, Hailey could feel nothing but contempt. Contempt for the man lecturing her, the man that put her in this situation by siding with a murderer over and over, the man that taught her that sometimes street justice is necessary. But in the weeks since that night, the words took on a new meaning. Because she found that, despite what she thought, it wasn’t as easy to turn off that part of her as she thought. She was plagued with guilt at night. Guilt that manifested into nightmares where the unit turned their backs on her, unable to forgive what she had done. Nightmares where Jay arrested her for accessory to murder. Nightmares where Darius’ ghost followed her around. 

The idea of Jay at her side made her feel like that could put an end to her spiral. He had always been an anchor in her life that she could cling to. His friendship, his offers to talk, the late-night drinks, the comfort she felt in his presence, she needed it to ground herself. 

When Hank got the request from Hailey, he was not entirely surprised. She had expressed that she didn’t want to switch partners when Vanessa arrived, but she also seemed to have formed a solid partnership with her. In the back of his mind for a while now, he had been toying with the idea of putting Hailey and Jay back together. They seemed to have lost their way a bit this year and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was because they didn’t have each other around to talk them down from rash decisions. 

“I think Vanessa is solid and could really benefit from working one on one with other people. I thought maybe having her ride with Kim when she gets back would be a good match. And me and Jay are good together, so I thought we could partner up again.” Hailey really hoped her nervousness was not coming through in her voice. 

“You run this by Vanessa?”

“Ya. She’s on board. She is excited to move around in the team. Get more insight to how we work.”

“Alright, I got no problems with it. Let Halstead know. I’ll talk to Vanessa when she gets in.”

“Thanks Sarge.”

As the phone call ended, Hailey felt as if a wave of relief had crashed through her. She didn’t realize how much she wanted, needed, to be partnered again with Jay until it was a reality. When Jay emerged from the exam room, Hailey suddenly felt like a teenager in love again. She couldn’t help the way she bounced with happiness as she told him the news. She rode the high through the day even after they had to respond to a robbery in progress call. As she sat in the back of Jay’s truck as he passed her a bouquet of roses, she thought to herself that she didn’t think it was possible to be this happy while conducting surveillance. But when Platt handed off the file from calls that police had to respond to from the Sullivan residence, she felt her heart drop. She had been a cop long enough to know what these calls meant. So as the impromptu meeting came to an end, she grabbed Jay and headed back to Med to get some more information about Michelle. 

After speaking to the doctor that had treated Michelle, they headed back to the district. Jay had noticed that the skip in Hailey’s step that had been there all morning was suddenly gone. He had noticed that she always seemed to take domestic violence cases a little harder than the other cases. They notified the team that they were on their way back with some hospital records that could help get Michelle to open up. Jay lets Hailey take the lead on the interrogation as he thinks maybe Michelle will be more responsive to her. He has seen her interview victims of domestic violence before, she somehow knows how to relate to them and make them feel comfortable. 

He listens as Hailey tells Michelle that she understands why she doesn’t leave, understands how confusing the situation is. He has heard Hailey say this countless times before when speaking to victims but for some reason, giving the events of the past week, they really bother him this time. He starts to get this nagging feeling that she might understand because she has seen this before. Has….lived this? He cringes as she starts to offer scenarios that may have led to Shane attacking Michelle. 

“You know what happens when he’s stressed, right? Or thinking he saw you with another guy. Maybe you didn’t get to the dishes fast enough.” Jay feels the need to move closer to Hailey.

“Why were you at the check cashing store?”

Jay continues to listen as Michelle opens up and starts to explain what happened. How she knew Shane was involved in the robbery, what she saw. They exit the interrogation room to give Michelle a break and so they can regroup. Voight and Vanessa meet them in the hallway and discuss the case. As Jay and Voight discuss the possibility of getting Michelle to wear a wire, something overtakes Hailey. Maybe its listening to another familiar story that she has heard too many times, maybe it’s having 3 of the people she trusts most in the world standing next to her, maybe it’s Jay’s words that she could tell him anything. She didn’t know what made her do it, but before she could even register that she was talking, the words were coming out of her mouth. 

“I’ve been behind those closed doors, as a kid.” She struggles to make eye contact with Voight as she says it. Jay looked to the ground trying to process what Hailey was saying. He looked back to Hailey, trying to maintain focus on what she was saying. 

“I know what it’s like. When you’ve been abused like that, you give up hope. She’s just trying to stay alive. Police are a threat to her survival.”

Hailey continues to talk as Jay continues to try to make sense of the information he is receiving. How could he not see it? How could he not notice the signs, notice the little details that pointed to her knowing a little too much about domestic violence?

Suddenly Vanessa was talking about reaching out to social services about safe houses and Jay realized he had missed the plan. The group splits up with both Vanessa and Voight patting Hailey’s back as they leave. Hailey sheepishly turns to Jay, not sure what kind of reaction to expect. 

“Jay?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jay whispers while staring at the ground. He didn’t mean to say it out loud. And when he saw the look in Hailey’s eyes, he wished he would have said something different.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. You don’t have to explain.”

“Jay. I don’t tell anyone. I can count on one hand the people I have told about this.”

Jay nodded his head in understanding. Hailey didn’t like to be seen as a victim. Even during the Booth case, she did not want anyone to know about the crimes that were committed against her, she fought hard to keep them out of the casefile. After her and Kim were taken and beaten in that basement, she fought tooth and nail to not go to the hospital. After that, it took Adam a couple of hours to convince her to give a statement. So much of what she went through happened when Kim was not there, so she needed to be the one to give the details. Telling people about her childhood, that made her a victim again. And she had decided long ago that she would never again be one. It’s part of what made her such a tough as nails detective. 

“Adam knows?” 

Hailey let a deep breath out. 

“Not because I told him. He figured it out.” How, Jay thought. How did Adam notice the signs that he didn’t?

“Look, I want to tell you everything, but ”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Hailey. All I want to know is how I can help you.” 

“I want to tell you, but it can’t be now. We’ve gotta get Michelle and her daughter some help first. We’ll do drinks tonight? Talk about it then?”

Jay nodded and asked to be filled in on the plan. Hailey didn’t call him out on it, she understood why he may have struggled to maintain focus on the conversation. Luckily, they were able to convince Michelle that they could help keep her safe and she agreed to wear a wire. 

As Jay and Hailey listened to Michelle confront her husband, Jay found himself lost in thought about Hailey. Why she didn’t like to see her parents. Why she seemed determine to never back down when someone was yelling in her face, regardless of how big they were. He imagined little Hailey, curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes, cowering in a corner. Crying, begging her parents to stop fighting. He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind, pay attention to Michelle. Suddenly, Shane erupts in anger and begins screaming. They hear Michelle scream and glass breaking. Jay jumps up ready to go in and save her when Hailey stops him.

“We’re supposed to sit here and wait?”

Suddenly Michelle emerges from her house and Hailey is able to calm Jay down.

“Jay. I know this is hard.” She begins, speaking softly so Jay knows she gets it. “We have to let this play out.”

“I know. It sounded like he was hurting her.” Hailey’s heart breaks for Jay. He is a good man; he can’t just stand by and do nothing when someone needs help.

“I know. I get it. They were just yelling, arguing. Which is hard to listen to but we are cops, we have to do this for the guy that got murdered.”

Jay shakes his head in submission. He knows she is right and there is a bigger picture here. Jay is in awe of her ability to take her personal connection to the situation and set it to the side to do her job. But he is struggling to separate his personal feeling from it. When the unit sets up an operation to catch Shane, Jay finds himself not being able to sit back again when he hears Shane and Michelle fight again.

Jay and Hailey run to the house and intervene. Jay knew he messed up, but he also knew that he did the only thing that would allow him to sleep at night. He finds himself relieved when Voight and Hailey tell him he did the right thing. Unfortunately, the relief is short lived. Shane gets arrested but ends up getting released quickly when they are unable to connect him to the robbery and Michelle doesn’t show up to his arraignment. When Hailey calls to notify him of Shane’s release, Jay races over to Michelle’s house. His heart drops when he finds her beaten on the floor. When Shane attempts to confront Jay, the two men end up on the floor fighting until Jay is able to get the upper hand. As they hear sirens approaching, he is able to convince Michelle to leave with him.

When Jay finally got Michelle on a plane, he made a beeline straight to Molly’s to meet Hailey. His shoulder was aching from the fight he got in with Shane, but nothing was going to stop him from being with Hailey tonight. When he walked in and saw her sitting there, he was suddenly scared. He wasn’t sure that he could handle listening to Hailey talking about her childhood. However, once Hailey noticed him, her face instantly lit up and it gave him all the courage he needed to hear her story.

He listened as she explained what life was like for her. How she hid under a pillow to block out the screams. How she watched her mother make excuses for her father, cover up the evidence of her bruises so neighbors didn’t think badly of them. He listened as she talked about how she wished someone would come into her life and rescue them from their dad. How Jay was that person for Michelle and her daughter. How what he did, it was a good thing. Jay found himself wishing more than ever before that he could be that person for Hailey too. Be the person that protected her from anything and everything that could hurt her. Be the person she turned for anything.

Jay looked at Hailey as she tried not to make eye contact. He reached across the table to her hands which were clinging to her glass. Suddenly it hit him. How Adam was able to figure it out. He remembers the case with Devin. The story that Hailey had told him about being beaten by her dad. At the time, Jay had no reason to suspect she was lying when she said she made it up. Now he was realizing why the guilt of what happened had hit her so hard. He took hold of the glass and set it down so that there was nothing separating their hands. He held onto her hands as he asked the question he was scared to hear the answer to.

“That stuff you told Devin. About your dad hitting you. That was true?” Jay almost whispered the question, as if saying it quietly would make it easier to hear the answer. 

He watched as Hailey’s eyes watered. She looked away and nodded yes. Jay felt himself becoming overwhelmed. He released one of her hands and brought his up to his face to cover his mouth as he tried to choke back his anger. The look of pain on her face made him want to scream.

“It’s not as simple as it seems.” Jay tried to control his facial expression as Hailey began to talk again. “I never talk about it because it sounds like I am making excuses. I’m not. What he did was wrong, and all the blame falls on him. But he wasn’t always like that. It’s hard to explain that the same guy that broke my brother’s arm is the same one that would read bedtime stories to him at night. Or the dad that busted my lip open and refused to take me to the hospital was the same one that comforted me when my dog died. And it really just makes me so angry. Angry that my mom stayed. Angry that I love him. Angry that I still have never confronted either of them. When I see him, there’s all this love and hate and anger. It’s all too confusing.” Jay watched as Hailey stared at their hands as she told her story. He thought about how much he loved the woman sitting across from him. How much that he wished he could have been there for her all those years ago when she needed someone to save her. In that moment, he made a decision. A decision to no longer wait for the ‘right moment’. A decision to no longer hide from his feelings or rejection.

Jay released Hailey’s hands and walked to her side of the booth. As he began to slide in, Hailey moved down to make room for him. Jay sat next to her, hands folded in front of him, trying to keep himself composed. 

“Hailey,” He shook his head in an attempt to keep his voice from breaking. “I wish more than anything that I could have been that person for you all those years ago. I can’t do anything about that but,” he paused and took hold of her hands again. “I can be that person now. I want to be that person for you. Whatever way you’ll let me. Your partner, your friend, I’ll do it. But” Jay took a breath in. He turned towards Hailey and placed a hand softly on her chin to get her to look at him. “I want more. And I understand if you aren’t ready and I get this probably isn’t the right time to talk about this. I just want you to know that if this, if us is something you ever want, I want to be that person for you.”

As Hailey sat there listening to Jay’s words and watching him as he said them, she was in awe of his honesty. He had said the things she had wished she had the courage to say to him. Her part in this was simple, to let him in.

“Yeah.” Hailey responded with a sniffle as she nodded her head trying to hold back a sob.

She watched Jay’s face suddenly became flushed and his eyes began to glisten as he processes her words. 

“Yeah?” He asked. Partly because he wanted to make sure he wasn’t imagining it; partly because he wanted to hear her say it again.

“Yeah.” Jay kissed the back of Hailey’s hand and stood up. He guided her out of the booth and walked hand in hand with her to his truck. As he opened the door for her he stopped her to wrap her up in a hug. Hailey knew in that hug that Jay would always be there, always be that person to protect her. As he brushed the hair out of hair face and softly pressed his lips to hers, she knew that she would forever be safe in his arms.

Two years later, Jay would repeat the promise he made to Hailey that night in the bar as part of his vows. He would make that promise 2 more times to each of their children as he held them for the first time. As they sat there on the couch, one kid asleep on each of their laps, he promised his wife that one day he would make this same promise to their grandchildren. And Hailey had absolutely no doubt in her mind that it was a promise he would keep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for giving this a chance! It was definitely a learning process! I figured some things out along the way that I hope will make the next fic easier to write and more enjoyable to read. The very first thing I wrote for this fic was this closing bar scene. I always knew how it would end and I had to work backwards from there. Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> So one of the hard things was finding where to end the chapters. Sorry if it feels sudden, this is my first multi chapter fic! Not sure if this is really my style, I feel much more comfortable writing one shots! I just thought I'd give something new a try!


End file.
